Funny Shit: Ovie on ESPN

Mancation 2011: Mancation Unplugged

Jackals, wise frum your gwabe. Y'all been skrimptastic, sleepy ass jackals. You just had a week or more to jackalize yourselves for a new calendar year and if you used all of that time to get awesome, you're on the right track.

So check it, BD2 is multiplying exponentially up in the Garden State. He's had to keep his jackalness to a low howl and that takes a toll on a ninja. Rusty T. Bonez played host to some jackals and that was some real shit, although Head decided he was a little too cool for school. Shote Sleeves, good lookin' out. Way to rep South Cakalacky fo' a jackal. For being nearly silent, Rusty's boy Lucas keeps it kind of jackal. Then there was billhicksmostfunny, whew. That cracka done drove a fucking continent to represent. "How long did it take you, billhicksmostfunny?" bhmf replied, "'bout 3 or 4 days." 3 or 4 days?!? What the fuck? Who drives for days on end? That's a crazy cracka.

So, bhmf, feel free to offer up your digs as the site where we praise Anubis for all of his greatness and soil our livers with liters of booze and feast upon pounds of scorched animal flesh. We shall hike and howl and burn a great many things, possibly for walking over.


I have rambled in great detail, but it was BD2 that made this most excellent of calls. This spring, we mancation. Not to the 'Mortal Kombat'-laden bosom of the Black Bear Chalet, but into the sweet, warm folds of nature's ham wallet. BD2 has called for the jackals to convene in the forests of Appalachia. HOOOOWWWWLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keeping It Jackal: Ron Franklin

Damn it all to hell! There's too many bowl games, leading to too much airtime for ESPN, leading to funny as fuck things like this happening and a jackal has to read them instead of hear them for his fucking self.

GCOTC: Kevin Anderson

Fuck you Kevin Anderson. Fuck you very much.

Randy fucking Edsall?

Are you fuckiking kidding me?!?!?!?!

Let's go to the videotape...

Randy Edsall - 74-70 and 22-26 in the shitty Big East.

Ralph Friedgen - 75-50 and 43-37 in the better ACC.

Mike Leach - 84-43 and 47-33 in the better than both Big 12.

JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST WAS THIS AN EASY DECISION TO MAKE. DON'T HIRE THE SHITTIEST COACH OF THE THREE ABOVE. HIRE THE COACH (MIKE LEACH) THAT IS BOYS WITH KEVIN PLANK THE UNIVERSITYS MOST INFLUENTIAL AND GENEROUS DONOR. THE GUY WHO CAN MAKE MD THE OREGON OF THE EAST. WHO DOES THE COCKSMOKER HIRE?

RANDY FUCKING EDSALL?!?!?!?!?!?!

I have season tickets to basketball and I'm listening to nothing but DMX this month... sombodies about to get got. Voicemail and me are gonna ride on this Ninja come Tuesday and he's gonna feel the fucking pain. Die slow mother fucker!!!

Want to like new...Dre but...too......much........wackness

So many posts to read, so little time. Happy New Year Jackals. I know I got some work to do to get caught up. Been to long as always. I see a lot of "0 Comments" always a bad thing. Was there camel toe a few weeks back for the Friday hottie?

The Den is really .

God bless the den. 2011 go asleep.

PS Go Caps

PP-PS Crosby's voice makes William H. Macy seem manly.

PPS Akon and everyone else is pop music eats penis willingly and enjoys it a lot. (Tico speak...baleeeve it)

PPP*PS Miss you fuckers

Happy New Year Jackals

Uh oh... The new Dre is coming out this year... Clones are about to get put to sleep...

JOTD: Ramajit Raghav

Aww shnap. This dusty old jackal's boys can swim. He snatched up some skins on some sexual healing. This dude found some mud for his turtle. Does anyone else think it's weird that some 'Mericans half this jackal's age need to take drugs to get ready to lay pipe? How about drugs that make you thin, make you sleep, make you poop, make you eat, etc.? Yo, Ramajit, keep fucking that chicken, you wrinkly jackal.

Keep Fucking That Chicken: NYC DOT

JOTD: Jon Stewart

I remember Jon Stewart addressing this a few times this past fall. Bill O'Reilly, eat your fucking heart out.

Boogers' Wide World of Sports

The Baltimore Ravens are back in the playoffs. With a gutsy divisional win on the road, the Ravens put all pressure to win the division and host a home playoff game back on the Steelers' shoulders, to beat the same team and maybe without their star safety, Troy Rides-A-Polamalu(at least that's what SS calls a ninja). The win was not easy, the Baltimore long snapper shredded his knee early in the game and played through significant pain. Apparently, the linebacker Tavares Gooden played through a dislocated shoulder, but such is the character of the players in the locker room. There were a few times where Cleveland got a few things going until the Ravens' star safety Ed Reed put a mother fucker to sleep. I was excited about the win so I threw on Ravens talk radio, but all the callers were bitching about the "quality" of the win and how the offense "sucks". I love Baltimore. I'm thinking something along the lines of Cam Cameron and his "conservative" play calls, some fans would like the Ravens to show all our offensive tricks two weeks before the playoffs with a 10 point lead. I do want a lot more Boldin, but his day draws quite near. Oh yes. Quite near.

Despite all the good news, it appears Ravens' top draft pick, 2nd rounder Sergio Kindle really is a total fucking idiot. After some rough news last week and a teammate telling him to be positive, he let everyone know that this, this and this were no fluke combination of luck or planetary alignment or anything.

Eli Manning is a clone. Shoulders, my mom called you out for being a fan of an out-of-state team today. I'm just sayin'.

In ice hockey news, main mother fucking jackal, Alex fucking Ovechkin's goal-less drought comes to an end on the same night Sadney Crysby's point streak ends. Senators are up 3-0 on the Penisguins as I post this.