Gay Clone of the Day

Fucking VM?  What the fuck?  Skipped playing bball with your boys over the weekend to go to a fucking baseball game.  Gay strike 1.  Wrote a blog about it in the jackal den.  This isn't your fucking twitter account, strike 2.  Posted a picture with your girl standing next to a fucking costumed mascot.  Please tell me you just accidentally forgot to post the picture of you beating up the mascot while girls in the background get naked and make out.  Cause as this stands, I can't think of anything less jackal than this.  Gay strike 3.  And then you write this in an email...."I was distracted by the beef I'm currently corning...".  What?  That is the gayest thing I've ever heard??  Seriously, go get wasted and post something funny.  You need to redeem my son.

Gay ass motherfuckers can go hang themselves

Who in the FUCKING hell sat around and said hmmm...let's invent "easy listening music", aka Elevator Music (EASY? it's easy to set kill myself af)

Elevators, gas stations, cafeterias, while you hold...REALLY? Why don't you just drug people and steal their livers? Why not gauge my eyes and feed them to the dolphins?

WHO? Whoever did this, go hang yourself... and hang some dolphins too!

Official Writing Sample of a Recruit

Shit thats annoying
Im tired of fuckin acronyms. I understand yall gay clones have to keep your job so you dont wanna actually type out the words gay as fuck cuz your scurred the man will come down on you like a jackal on wounded animal. but i for one am tired of people using acronyms that are entirely too long. they are for scrimps and its just a bunch of bullshit. This is propelled by the every growing trend of not saying "bad words". If i wanna say fuck my life im not gonna say FML cuz thats fucking stupid. GTG ROFL BRB BFF BFFL? TTYL GAF PAF OMG fucking LOL. Its all a bunch of stupid fucking gay clones scrimtastic unjackal retarted laguage. or SFGCSURL

This post was created after Head and I had a conversation on E FUCKING MAIL at 9:19pm EDT. What Ball Deep said and did had no effect whatsoever on me deciding to post this. Ball Deep can try to run shit as much as he wants but things go down after 8pm on Mancations and nobody wants to follow a dude sleeping in a bedroom with his woobie when there are Shenanigans to be had.

this is why i'm hot

vote on the fucking writing example and then do whatever the fuck you want including but not limited to busting a nut in your wifes face who just got home from dubai.

On Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 8:45 PM, HEAD> wrote:

unless you have a better argument than that, my thoughts will be on the blog momentarily.

On Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 8:43 PM, SCAR SHOULDERS> wrote:

you gotta keep some shit secret.  werent any of you mother fuckers in the boy scouts or the crips or a football huddle or anythning before?

On Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 8:40 PM, HEAD> wrote:

wait. why isn't this on the blog?

NO MORE EMAILS

FOR FUCK'S SAKE NO MORE EMAILS

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY IT IN THE DEN.  WASN'T THAT THE WHOLE POINT OF CREATING THIS THING SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DELETE 87 FUCKING EMAILS EVERY 10 MINS??  UNLESS IT IS SOMETHING YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION THAT WHY NOT TYPE THE EXACT SAME WORDS IN A NEW POST ON THE BLOG, HIT PUBLISH AND THEN ALLOW US TO COMMENT.

GET BENT.

PS who the fuck is babyface??

PPS THIS SHIT WAS JUST POSTED TO THE BLOG AT THE SAME TIME.

GO ASLEEP!!!

Highlights From the Mets vs. Nationals Series

Yeah, it was just that awesome.

Wop Waaahhhhhhh

Man, The Jackals Den hasn't seen anything that anti-climactic since a drunken Tico tried to convince his babymamma to shag after playing Wizards Solitaire. Cameron, put down the scotch and cigar and uncross your legs. You're not an old man, but if a Hollywood effects studio were to make you over like one, no one would know.

Guest Joke Writer of the Day: Camer0n C011ins

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. Ascarefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over therailing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrappedits trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Fat Lady + Dirt Bike + 14 year old kid's sound effects = Hilarious!

A little something to help you relax.....take your shirt off and relax.

Gay Clone of the Day: Kayne

Just like Nas said years ago, Hip Hop is dead. Show me good top 40 Rap and I will give you my left nut. "No one on the corna got swagga like us..." Shut the fuck up Kanye. We are going to look back this time in music and discuss what a sad state of affairs it is. I mean what is with this voice effect thing? Was that ever cool? Why do they keep using it? Shit is GAF. And Jay-Z better watch himself too. Didn't he retire like 5 years ago? Or was he Brett Farve'n? He used to be cool but if he keeps doing songs with the likes of Kayne and Lil' Wayne he's gonna get slapped with the GCOTD award quick fast.

Jackals bark at this fool!