Paul for 2013

It's fucking on.

Psst...Mama Earth is Fucking Pissed, Yo

Yo, word to your moms, she be pissed, yo.

Go To Sleep: Pittsburgh Penguins

Is somebody preparing for a new career without shots to the head? What a little bitch. Suck one, Crysby!

Jackal Coping Mechanisms: Fake Bedtime Stories

I can't really relate to the hardships of parenting, otherwise I'd probably make Adam Mansbach Jackal of the Day. Actually, fuck it, nobody else comes to mind.

"But as any good fiction teacher will tell you, you’ve gotta write what you know. And last summer, Mansbach knew that it was taking for-freaking-ever to get his 2-year-old daughter, Vivien, to go the f@#ck to sleep. He posted an exasperated lament on Facebook, and his friends told him to write a book. So he did."

Sleepy Jackal: bhmf

No Shit: Afghan Prison Break Was "Inside Job"

Didn't see that one coming.

"Monday's break was the second escape at the prison in three years. In 2008, as many as 1,000 prisoners -- nearly half of them Taliban members -- escaped after militants detonated a truck bomb against the side of the prison compound."

Well, we're just gonna have to rebuild the prison, but better.

Go To Sleep: San Antonio Spurs

Funny Shit: Titties and Some Carrott Cake

Thug Friends "Titties and Carrot Cake" from Absolutism on Vimeo.

GC(s)OTD: Al Qaeda

According to documents, to avoid the distraction of women, he “reportedly received injections to promote impotence and recommended the injections to others so more time could be spent on the jihad.”

What a fag.

Then there's the story of these fucking cowards:

When Ramzi Binalshibh, a key liaison between the Sept. 11 hijackers and al-Qaeda, was arrested at a safe house in Karachi on the first anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks, there was a four-hour standoff while the Yemeni and two others held knives to their own throats and threatened to kill themselves rather than be taken.

Fucking pussies.

Friday Hottie: Nina Moric