GCOTD: Pat Roberts

"He needs to take a Valium before he comes in and talks to Republicans," Sen.Pat Roberts, R-Kan., told reporters. "He's pretty thin-skinned."

Sen. Roberts, any advice for the president that doesn't involve substance abuse? KFTC, Republican party.

Joint JsOTD: James Carville and Joe McGinnis

This guy is keeping it jackal. Get all up in that Palin family. You know the older one is pretty easy and doesn't like condoms. This guy is calling out Obama and scowling. Check out how pissed he gets at our real live jackal, Barack. The be-all-end-all Jackal of the Day? You decide.

I'm Just Sayin': Go To Hell and Die, Bitch!

Somehow, dumb motherfuckers keep giving this dumb bitch a podium. They're standing in line, believing the lies, bowing down to the flag, they've got a bullet in the head.

Jackal Weekend Plans??

Let's hear 'em

Here's mine:
Friday
3:45PM - sneak out of work early and head directly to bar for pre-game bevarages
7:30PM - go to Madison Square Garden for Pearl Jam/Band of Horses. Continue getting awesome.
1:00AM - go home and go asleep

Saturday
hang out with my kid and Mrs. BD2 and lay low down at the beach.

Sunday
6:30AM - MS Tour with Nuggets and Pontius. 85 miles of coastline and sunshine eating powerbars, powerade and granola...yuck should be an amazing ride though.
2:00PM on - limp across finish line. ride directly to outdoor bar by the ocean (Windrift) and get awesome again.


Monday - come home sleep for 24 hours

Tuesday - back to this shithole. I mean back to work...

fuck.

fuck.

JOTD: Kevin Costner(hear me out)

Okay, clearly the name Kevin Costner and the word 'jackal' aren't synonymous. This jackal has clearly strayed from time to time and been asked to put on terrible southern accents. But check out what he does with his spare time/money...
...and check out his hot ass wife.

GCOTDx2: Floyd Landis

This guy was stripped of his title in '06 for doping. Dominated the hardest stage of the Tour de France with a superhuman effort (obviously impossible) and then swore he didn't dope in court. He then took donations from family and fans, spent his entire life savings, lost his house and his wife trying to prove to everyone he was innocent. He even wrote a book declaring he rode clean his whole career. Then he is relegated to JV bullshit league and no one wants him anymore.

So what does he do? He goes to the officials and says that he cheated because everyone else cheated so they should still give him a chance. That is like saying, I cheated on my exam but so did everyone else so can you pass me? Then he specifically targets his friends/teammates that he rode with for 10 years because if he can't race then they shouldn't be able to either.

One small problem, Lance didn't cheat. Never did. Lance is my hero. He beat cancer, he beat you 7 times deal with it. Do not fuck with me, clone. I am a jackal. Regardless of my bizarre sports interests and funny cycling outfits I am still a jackal and I will UNF your face...bitch.

Douche.

Hans Briixxx

Kim Jong Il is a scary dude. You see what he did to Hans Blix?

"How you like that you fucking cocksucker!" "Inspect that you buttfucking piece of shit!!!"

Keep Fucking That Chicken: Kim Jong Il

This doesn't sound good.

GCOTD: S. Moss

"I ain't got nothing to do with nothing that ain't about me." -Santana Moss's reply to allegations of HGH injections from rehab doctor (same Doc that juiced Gay-Rod)

Well stated Santana…what is that a quadruple negative. Didn’t even know that was possible.

And just when things were going so well sans fat albert drama. I still love Moss, dude's a beast and now we know why. It is just now I have to go and get another jersey.

Quite possibly the funniest thing Pontius has ever said in response to my jersey dilemma:
"It's a pain I'm sure Nuggets knows all too well. Weird feeling, like burying a hamster, you kinda care, you're kinda pissed, and you think twice about buying another one. But in the end you always do. Well... I fed hamsters to the gigantic snake we had growing up so I always had to buy another one, but, you get my point."