Monday, August 17, 2009

Boog Caught the Shaft

So any Jackal that KNOWS BMR knows how seriously this ninja approaches his dealings with the sandwich, the hoagie, the grinder and all bread-based food forms that inspire, clog arteries and generally jackal up the tables upon which we sup.

Now BMR has a rockin' cool office and there's a monthly "Throwdown", no joke it's called a throwdown. So I posed a challenge, a sandwich challenge. My opponent and I exchanged proper proportions of shit talk, but the day arrived. Boogers brought his A game, my ninjas. It was a massive Italian loaf, the spread was dubbed, "Maryland Blue Crab Backfin Roulade", romaine, red onion, banana pepper, jalapeno jack cheese, bacon and roasted turkey breast. Having never sampled the sandwich, I submitted it to a panel of judges. I handly captured the flavor portion of the judging, but somehow lost to an open-faced hors dourve or however the fuck you spell it on some kind of toast, prosciutto and oranges. Not sure why there was more than a flavor category, but it feels, to me, like I wasted $70.00.  No cash prize or anything, but madd heads complimented my sandwich. You tell me, turkey, bacon, pepper jack, banana peppers vs. prosciutto and oranges.

Wedskins Fans Awe Scawed


Saturday night I attended an epic birthday celebration for one Voicemail Nuggets.

During said celebration I was fortunate enough to sit with Pontius and CCQQ99 problems. 99 was laughing at the awesomeness that was being gotten and exclaimed "I can't wait for football season!!" Apparently he is only allowed to get awesome for birthdays and football, but I digress...

Then unprompted he shouted "shut the fuck up Lee, fuck you!" At this time Pontius punched me in the arm and was all "Dont say anything"

SS "I didn't"

Pontius "I know just don't it's Voicemails birthday. Lets just agree to 'Go Terps'"

This we toasted too, before Pontius babble and pleaded more for me to not talk shit about his team.

Jesus the fear is pathetic, almost as pathetic as getting rolled up 23-0 by the Ravens while the drop 500 yards on your ass on national TV after all your dumb ass fans proclaimed you were headed to the Super Bowl and had a great defense.

You loser's watching Monday Night Football right now? You see how a REAL TEAM handles their fucking business? Panthers get the ball, 3 and out.

Giants get the ball and are driving to score and a BS penalty call takes it away from them.

1 first down and punt for Panthers.

Giants march down the field for a TD.

That's how you handle your business and put in work.

and Zorn is a gay clone if I ever have seen one.

BALEEVE IT!

ps any jackal that wants to put a bottle of black label on the skins/giants game week one, bring it on

Intercontinental Road Trip







Lets go watch the Bear of College Park play basketball this winter in Northern Ireland.

Friday, August 14, 2009

"Long Pork" Cutz




Alright, you are trapped in an elevator with 2 other scrimps. You have been trapped for 5 hours. It is getting toward lunchtime, and you are hungry. You meet eyes with the only other man in the elevator, and make a motion towards the plump chick crying in the corner.

What part do you eat first? Personally, I think the biceps/triceps area would taste delicious, maybe like wings, if you could cook them, but chewy and satisfying if you had to eat it raw. List your choice cuts.

Also, the video above balances my hatred of Chris Matthews anti-american bashing by bashing the GOP, I guess. I just like to see people shoot elephants.

Informed American (Jackal) houses Chris Matthews



Whats this? An informed, armed, patriot, who doesn't make a fool of himself on tv, despite Matthews' hardon for hating guns , the 2nd Amendment, and America? Sounds pretty Jackal to me. Listen to Matthews keep pressing on, despite this Jackal's rational thoughts and reasons to protest.

Oh yeah, the quote from TJ was, "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."

Sorry for the pol. post, but this guy did handle himself pretty good, in the face of obvious liberal bias (fair and balanced, right, just like Fox). Feel free to email me to discuss more or to tell me to stf up. Or in BMR's case, to ninja ninja ninja be talking craka ninja ninja youre a terrorist ninja ninja this is change i voted for ninja ninja ninja it dont stop it just contin-ue ninja.

Next one will be about the best part of a human to eat if you were forced (or your wife didn't buy groceries and you were just really hungry) to go jackal and dine on some "long pork" as they called it back in pirate times.

This guy is the coolest.


After driving around for about a year without a/c I really miss that shit. Especially driving to a job interview and I be rolling w/tha pit stains. Maybe I should ninja rig something up like this?

Water; WTF you want?



Ok, so what is it about beach resorts, lakes and shit that they are so fucking relaxing? ...obviously water is a common thread here but what is it with water? Ok, we are 80% water, ok...we hanged out for 9 months under water ...ok...



Water, what the FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH US?














Thursday, August 13, 2009

Jackal Undercover: Voicemail

When a ninja needs to commit ninjadom, who does he turn to? Does he turn to his blood-Jackal? A Jackal he can trust, possibly AS far as he can throw. So when BMR needed to drop papers a.k.a. "serva bitch", he called up his boy Nuggets, naturally. VM is one of the only Jackals to lay eyes on the target in question. If you're not familiar with Small Claims cases, Nuggets mission, since he chose to accept it, I kind of put him on the spot there, is to physically touch the ol' landlady with the "papers". I'm going to stake out and come up with a routine, I'm thinking binoculars, pork rinds, CB radio, I want to get Richard Dreyfus on this bitch.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

VT Immortalizes Deron Washington Teabagging Greg Paulus


Yep, that is a picture on the wall in Virginia Tech basketball's new practice facility. I could not be more proud of my alma mater or my new (again) hometown. More on that last part in a few days - gotta get out from under all these boxes first.

BA-LEEVE IT

...is streaming on my desktop while I work. Don't sleep on John Lithgow.