Break it down for me Jaws

In this era of 24 hour news and ESPN and Thursday Night Football and Saturday Night Football and Thursday Night Football Special Edition on Christmas and NFL Network and 37 Bowl Games sometimes a sports fan gets caught up in the matrix and doesn't really analyze a football game. I'm going to break down a little Monday Night Football for all of you right here in the den.

Often times you hear coaches talking about winning each quarter. I'm gonna break that all the way down to winning each play. I'll define an offensive win as a gain of 4 or more yards because three such gains gets you a first down. It's also an offensive win if a fist down is gained by gaining less than three yards. I went through the first 25 minutes of football last night to analyze just how the Giants took a 24-0 lead. Lets go to the video tape...



What you can barely see here is the Giants winning 35 of the first 49 plays. That boys and girls is more than a two to one ratio. They also won the first NINE third downs. This is how you dominate a football game boys and girls. Hopefully little Jimmy Zorn figures this out this week so he can beat the Cowboys on Sunday...

5 steps of grief

1 Denial
2 Anger
3 Bargaining
4 Depression
5 Acceptance - You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly.

Fucking Fuck

Fucking fucking fucking fucking fuck. Fuck. Fucking fucking fucking fucking fuck. Fucketty Fuck fucking fucking fucking fuck. You just embarrassed the fuck out of fucking every fucking fuck fuck fuck in the whole fucking fucking fuck. Fuck. fucking fucking fucking fuck. FUCK. The fucking Redskins fucking fuck. Fuckerttyy fucking fucking fucking fuck. FFFFUUUCCCKKK!!!!

An attempt to un-Gay the Den

Along with the help of SS, in our haste to trash talk we have stained the Den with gayness and for this I apologize on our behalf. Let's take a look at some futbol chicks to make us all feel better shall we? Tico, I am counting on you coming up with some better cullo buenas than these chicas because your expertise in this arena (a.k.a. soccer and hot latin women) is far superior to mine.

Talk about GAF . . .

Yowsas. This dude could be gayer if he was on all fours suckin the wide outs dick.

The Giants are gonna beat that ass son. Beat it like a drum. Beat it like a steel drum. Like a steel drum at Rhumbar. And your boy SS will be dancing. Dancing like a man possessed!!!

For those Jackals who don't like to combine awesome with awesomeness

I like T&A with my sports viewing and beverage consumption. In my opinion it part of what makes football so 'Merican and awesome. Some jackals (or clones?) however don't see the need for having a little visual entertainment for the 4,001 commercial breaks during a sporting event while not in beverage or bathroom lines. But some of those individuals happen to think that the clone pictured above is not GAF. Head I 100% agree that some things sexually related have no business being in football. I'm just sayin'

Go SKINS!!!!!!!!

You know what you will never see at Giants games? Cheerleaders... One of the 4,344,567,565,556,565,921,685,393,029 reasons why the Redskins are the best football team in the NFC East. The season may end in two weeks, but at least we can make a few Giants fans join in our misery by beating that ass tonight proper. A few things in the Skins favor, they have nothing to lose, all the players are playing for a new boss and their jobs, it is a home game, the Skins are getting hot (albeit too late), the Giants suck balls, the Giants almost always blow it for nationally televised games, Ball DEEP needs something good to happen for his favorite team, and by default our cheerleaders are hotter because the homo giants don't believe in T&A on the sidelines. GO SKINS!

I'm Your Huckleberry

SS,

I'll take the Skins beating your GMen on MNF. Ba leeve dis. BD2, you doubting your own team? Bottle of Jimmyson to the both of you skrimps. Skins win and John Gruden professes man love for Campbell on Monday Night. Boogerdamus has spoken, it will be so.

let me help you SS:

Iraqi Notorious BIG

It gets real Jackal about 1:02 in. HOWL!