Clearly, these were the types of bitches Tom was talkin' bout.

KFTC: Global Warming Skeptics

You're right. This is totally normal.

Stories of Jackaldom: Bulletproof Italian

Darco Sangermano is one lucky fucking jackal. After getting awesome with his lady friend on New Year's Eve, main man took a .22 to the dome piece. It wasn't a turf war, but random gunfire meant to ring in the new year, clearly not intended to get lodged behind a jackals ocular caverns. Removing the bullet didn't take surgery, though, just a good old fashioned Gesundheit.

Jackal for LIFE: Google

I love Google and not bc you give me tities at random times of the day when my coworker is not in the office...it's because you tell me stuff like this

p.s. Ajax: FUCK YOU

GCOTD: Tom DeLay

What a stupid fag.

Just Another Day on the Farm.........

.........and this cow is fucking pissed off! Well I don't blame the damn thing for being pissed. Being a cow would suck, unless of course you had the good fortune to be born a Hindu cow.

But actually, no wait, fuck it. I say if it looks like a sacred cow then it is best to be on the safe side and kill the damn thing. Kill it jackals, kill it dead.

Friday Hottie: Vanessa Marcil

Last I checked, it's fuckin' Friday. Last Friday was New Year's Eve, but that's no excuse. I promise to not sleep on Friday Hotties ever again. Happy to you, Jackals. Fuck yo shit.

This lucky little fucker's gonna kick his own balls when he grows up...

If You Gotta Go...

...you might as well go out in style.

Frank: A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums.
Ed: That's no way for a man to die.
Frank: No... you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!
Wilma Nordberg: [cries] Oh... Frank. This is terrible!
Ed: Don't you worry, Wilma. Your husband is going to be alright. Don't you worry about anything. Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind.
Frank: He's right, Wilma. But I wouldn't wait until the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards.
[Wilma cries again]
Ed: What I'm trying to say is that, Wilma, as soon as Nordberg is better, he's welcome back at Police Squad.
Frank: ...Unless he's a drooling vegetable. But I think that's only common sense.
[Wilma cries again]

R.I.P.: Land of the Free

We're fucked.

Right now, it's just Miami/Dade County, but I'm sure this gay clone invention's services can be enlisted for a modest rental fee. Don't fret, some of your data will eventually be funneled through here and that's not good either.

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