JOTD: Mike Knuble

Park your ass in front of the net, get your grind on, and make me proud.

Lets go Caps!

GCOTD: Five Guys(Prices)

Yeah, I've been listening to Five Guys banter for over a year now and I was led to believe it was the best dining establishment for obliterating hunger since Chipotle. I heard about numerous NoVa escapades with SS and Ol' Filthy being born again at the hands of ground cow and potato slices. I was told, "Oh, the little burger is plenty..." and "They fill the bag of fries to the brim!" I was optimistic. Why shouldn't I be? Since when does SS lead a jackal astray? Never. Little cheeseburger, fries and a Coke. What's the damage, BMR? Nine fucking dollars and thirty two cents!?!?! Can I have a fucking blow job with my burger and fries? Am I a fucking skrimp? Is that burger constituted of ground filet mignon? Boycott starts now, Five Guys. Your prices are bullshit. If I had felt particularly hungry, would I have broken the ten dollar threshold? For a fucking burger? I hate you. SS, you led a jackal astray. BD2x, you had a Five Guys post at one point or another, why didn't you explain this to a jackal? I will defer to the drawing below to summarize:

Boogerdamus: The Return of the Gangster

Alright, what sucks about this prediction is I made it two months ago(quite jackal in its own right) but I made it to Pontius and some chick he was on a date with. The chick was really hot and she knew her hockey, but she was hating on our Russian something furious. I went out on a limb(at the time) and made the call. Pontius pretty much had to go along with it because CQQ99 got him a Varly jersey just weeks before Boogerdamus got his prediction on. Until he starts posting in the Den, you'll have to confirm this prediction with Pontius himself. Ba-leeve it.

Seriously, Caps, get the fuck out of this series, Philly is waiting.

Semin, quit being gay and get back to being jackal. Put one or two bitches asleep.

In other news, this prediction is going horribly wrong. At the hand of the clone ass Spurs, no less. Fuck the NBA.

GCOTD: The NBA

Pau Gasol +
female announcer on E(clone muthafuckas)SPN +
"I Will, I Will!" Under Armour commercials +
Ron Artest's hair +
Luke Walton +
Oklahoma Thunder?? +
Arena whiteout (clone ass Penguin's style) +
Kobe Bryant's tough guy stare =
The NBA sucks gay clone monkey balls

Come on really a chick fucking announcer??? Go to fucking asleep mother bitches!!!!

Enough Megan Fox for a Jackal? Didn't think so...

Friday Hottie: Megan Fox...Again

Seriously is there anyone hotter?

Friday Hottie: Flied Lice Edition

Kelly Hu is pretty awesome.

JOTD: Ozzie Fuckin' Newsome

"But for those who study the draft, the Ravens are considered almost unmatched because of their acumen in the middle rounds, where the remaining players have greater shortcomings. Football Outsiders analyzed the Ravens’ draft picks from 2001 through 2007 to determine the value of each pick, based on games started, compared with players at the same position chosen within 10 spots by other teams. During that time, the Ravens’ picks had the best average value."

Ba-leeve it.

Go to Fucking Asleep

Canadiens may want to review this

I'm Just Sayin': Dudes With Chicks' Names

I don't know about the rest of you jackals, but that jackal donning a #8 jersey for the Caps isn't afraid of a goalie with a chick's name. While it wasn't immediate ScarShoulderdamus material, it looks like ol' SS wasn't too far off, although he may be completely losing his shit at work this week. Dude went OBD on a email chain 'Reply All', accusing two jackals and one wayward jackal relative of incestual gay sex acts. The original Jackals' Den is a tough destination for a midweek awesome fest, I'm just sayin'.