NBC's Wet Dream

NBC, go fuck yourself. You got what you wanted.

USA USA USA

6-0 In the 1st? Hey, Canada, We're Your Fuckin' Huckleberry!

Canada, how about you win later on so you have to play the US for gold? Then we'll bend you over on your home ice. We're the cirrhosis-laden Doc Holliday and you're broke ass Curly Bill.

Ryan Miller has a shitty haircut in this picture, but 'dem colors don't run.

P.S. While I was posting this, the score went from 3-0 to 6-0. That, my friends, is JAF. Do Not Sleep.

What Republicans Are Up To

BMR, you asked "what the fuck Republicans are doing"? It's relatively simple: They don't see any electoral benefit in supporting anything Democrats do. If bills pass, the majority gets credit for them, which helps Democrats in November. If bills don't pass and Washington is seen as ineffective, the majority party gets punished in November. So the Republicans are doing everything they can to ensure that the latter is the case.

This is exacerbated by Obama's campaign focus on bipartisanship and reforming Washington, which means he'll get extra credit from the public if he is seen as actually delivering bipartisanship. And the GOP obviously doesn't want that.

A key problem here is that the filibuster gives the minority party a means of obstructing bills that have a majority of votes and the public doesn't necessarily understand this, so the majority often still gets punished. In some ways, the Democrats' 60-vote supermajority may have made this worse, because even informed members of the public could ask "well, you guys have the votes you need, so why are you complaining?" We may have seen this effect a little bit when a handful of Republicans joined with Democrats to pass the HIRE act; I'm assuming that they felt the pressure of the bill's potential failure if they didn't vote for it. The crazy thing is that, after 5 Republicans joined with Democrats in voting for cloture, THIRTEEN Republicans voted for the bill's passage. This particularly ironic screengrab from Lamar Alexander's (R-TN) website pretty much sums it up:

The HIRE Act and the "Partisan Jobs Bill" are the same thing. The ironic thing is that this bill was (1) an effort to create jobs in the worst economy in 75 years and (2) was composed almost entirely of tax cuts and credits. In other words, there was virtually no rationale for this bill not passing with massive (think 90+ votes) majorities.

In summary:

• Republicans know that helping Obama hurts them, so they're not doing it, even on bills that make a ridiculous amount of sense.
• Democrats are pussies for not passing their shit with the massive majorities they had.
• Republicans' "no-to-everything" strategy may not work anymore because they now can actually block everything, as opposed to just slowing everything down. Of course, actually voting for things also may not work because they may turn on themselves.
  

Well, well, well, Boogers Speak da Troof?

Head,

Please tell me what the fuck the Republicans are doing. Between NPR and the Daily Show, I've pieced it together, but I was hoping you could break it down in smartpeoplese.

GCOTD: Pontius

GMAIL TRANSCRIPT Pontius                to BD2, BMR, SS(notice no CQ99, who also loves to 'Reply All', but apparently Pontius needs to stay on his good side)

show details 8:14 PM (1 hour ago)

Please hold off on this shit(Please 'Reply All' as much as you can). I don't have the time or the patience (if you do 'Reply All', I will continue to solidify my clone status). There are a lot of diferent groups on here (everyone on this email chain knows what a wet blanket I am already), and the inside jokes don't translate well/get old quick when you're not in on them (how am I supposed to be funny if you guys keep upstaging the fuck out of me?). That all said, can't wait to see you all, it's been to long (I can't wait to sit back and watch you three jackals have a blast while I judge you silently).

Sent from my iPhone (aka conveyed smugness without the need to type)

Begin forwarded message:

GCOTD Movie Edition: Cop Out

So it is possible to have a movie trailer composed entirely of famous quotes from other movies that DON'T completely suck ass.

Stab me in the face: GCOTDecade: These shitheads from Nick Jr

Do you have a kid? (Head would know what I am referring to but his kid is probably reading calculus books and eating hemp burgers.) No, well if you did you would know the agony of sitting through the Fresh Beat Band. Watch from 52 seconds. The white kid raps....un-fucking-believable



PS If you do have a baby jackal let them watch Yo Gabba Gabba...It's way better the producers definitely did hallucinogenic drugs.

PPS the redhead is sort of hot in a "I'd like to smash your head with the claw end of a hammer" sort of way. Original BD knows what the fuck I am talkin' about.

Jackal Query: Kyle Got Digits

Dude, ninja, does a jackal remember the last time Boogers got interns in his office? He's got another one for the spring, we'll call him 'Kyle', for lack of a better alias. Kyle's got his 'ESS AICH' together, but maybe a screw loose here or there. He had some questions for your boy BMR, but dude is hella busy these days. I figured I would forward his inquiry into the Den, get a couple jackals on the case.

So Kyle got some digits over the weekend and he wants to impress the young lady. He's also compelled to keep it jackal. Could the Den offer up some suggestions for Kyle's first date?

JOTD: General Greivis

2000 points, 700 dimes, 600 boards, only player in ACC history to do so. Top story on ESPNs home page. Carrying my red hot boys into the postseason.

VIVA EL CALLEJERO!!