Thursday, May 17, 2012

A Jackal Mission.

The Mission: get my shit on, on politicians, shit on politicians Jackal Orders: okay lets be honest, I am talking to two Jackals right now, so listen up Boogers, and listen up Rusty, okay wait, we all know SS is lurking out there and probably Head too, so okay here goes: the four of you must procure as many political bumper stickers as possible for BHMF, I need them badly and I will pay postage, just get a bunch of stickers and send them to me The reasons why: by this point you all must be wondering why I need these stickers, well let me explain. You see BHMF lives off the grid and therefore does not have a conventional sewage system. This means BHMF (like other real Alaskans) shits in a bucket. We call it a honey bucket. Not sure why its called a honeybucket but thats what it is called. So anyway BHMF wants to spruce his honeybucket up a little bit and thought it would be a good idea to line the bucket with stickers of people he really hates. Thats when he got the idea about the political stickers. I think most of the stickers will go on the outside of the bucket. But a few real hated nemesis' stickers could go directly on the inside bottom portion of the bucket. The bucket would need to be cleaned to do this but BHMF really wants to directly shit on a few people so whoever can find stickers for the following politicians would make BHMF real happy. The arch nemesis list: Palin, Obama, Clinton (especially Hillary), Any member of the Bush family, Mitt, Cheney, McCain, Al Gore, etc.......we are about to be in the middle of a fierce political campaign, the likes of which we have never seen before. And you guys live in the epicenter of all this madness so I am expecting big things from everyone. Don't let me down.......

8 comments:

  1. This is great. The vintage stickers are madd difficult to find unstuck. Generally, most of those bygone electibles is done went asleep by now. I hate that you have to shit in a bucket. This election is going to be madness. I'm planning to form a modern day band of merry pranksters. You know, freak out the squares, man!

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  2. I know the vintage stickers are madd difficult too get, but you are on a mission in whence failure is not an option. This is a Jackal mission of utmost importance. And if you do fail in regards to the vintage, you can surely nab me some Obama and Romney stickers and at the very least some mayoral candidates and if push comes to shove some city council or school board candidates will do. Just hook me up with something and I won't complain......

    My honeybucket needs some flair, goddammit. And don't feel bad for me shitting in a bucket. My shit will be composted and recycled and the nutrients will complete the circle of life. I feel bad for you guys wasting enormous amounts of perfectly good (and precious) clean water to flush something unnecessarily. And then using chemicals to clean that water and re-drink it. You do know y'all are re-drinking chemical laden shit water right?

    Good luck with the merry pranksters. If you are gonna do that you are gonna need a bus wired up with a bunch of loudspeakers. And you are gonna need a bus driver too! I'd love nothing more than to drive around America with a bunch of acid heads freaking out the squares......sounds like a good time to me......

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  3. Can I send you stickers for shitty bands as well? Shitty TV shows? Shitty jokes that aren't funny? Jesus fish? You were right about the lurking…

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  4. I would say a big resounding yes to the Jesus fish and shitty bands. I didn't know tv shows and bad jokes had stickers, but just send 'em my way and I'll sort them out.

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  5. Just getting back to this. Jesus fish, Dave Matthews Band, a Virginia state flag, and a confederate flag, coming right up!

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  6. Hey SS, how 'bout slapping this on the back of your rig???

    That shit is funny............

    Yeah I'll happily shit on the Jesus fish and confederate flag. Never on DMB and the VA state flag I have mixed feelings about. I had a few run-ins with the Commonwealth, but still hold a tender spot in my heart for the Lovers State. How about a flag that represents Northern VA and I'll shit on that all day long.

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  7. I want to see before and after pictures of this shit bucket. If people actually send you shit to shit on, you have to prove that shit. For real.

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  8. Ninjas had better send some goddamn shit.

    BHMF is paying postage.

    So get out there and get me some stickers motherfuckers.

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