Yo! Finally off work early, so checking in with some funnies, 4 real. Havent had time to update on the hilarity of my life recently.
So, I was at a superbowl party with the chick I was seeing, at her sisters place. All their family was there, like 10 people. All liberal/tree-hugger types, and they are talking about b.s. while I am trying to watch the freakin game and get my swurve on. So, as I wander up from the tv room where the men are; in search of more beers, I get accosted by the women, about something. They are talking about something that I clearly dont remember or cared to hear at the time right- So I decided to interrupt , and tell them about my latest re-discovered pasttime- littering! (SS I know you feel me!) I go off for approx. 4 minutes on the joys of throwing soda bottles and random food trash out my truck window while I am driving, and the laughter and joy it brings me.
Then I realize everybody is staring @ me like I'm a Nazi or something. Squares= Freaked Out. There was some nervous laughter from everybody else, as if I might be joking, and my chick made some dumb joke about punching me if she saw me do that, and I said something about her not being able to see that happen if a milkshake hits her windshield while shes driving, and then the awkwardness increased, and nobody was real enough to say anything about this, and then I said excuse me, opened the fridge, got two beers out (pretending one was for someone else; it wasn't) and walked past the still silent women to watch the rest of the superbowl.
I laughed about this off and on for approximately that day until present, off and on.
Also, advice to you single (and newly single) fellas- No matter how well you mean it, telling a chick she has nice "meat curtains" is almost universally NOT accepted as a compliment by the gentler sex. Go'an an ax me how I know that.
Bdizzle out.
That Torpedo is some good shit. You know bhmf has an empty lot for us...
ReplyDeleteFirst time with the Torpizzle(yeah, I'm goin Snoop on everything, 10 years later white gizzle style) but its pretty slamming. Big fan of all IPA(izzles). Also got this stuff called Jamaica Stout, bouncing with 7.6%abv, boogers I be lookin at you on that one too.
ReplyDeleteYou are a good bullshitter but I can see you B Fab Ri Cating.
ReplyDeleteNo one throws out a perfectly good milkshake.
Actually I am, and I think I speak for the entire Den here, in awe of your square freaking abilities. One is tempted to explain this gift almost as a God given ability. If God gave OBD a purpose in life it was most clearly to freak squares on the regular.
ReplyDeleteI want to give due to the motherfuckers who actually invented this kinda shit though. They are True American Heroes and they are, of course, the Merry Pranksters. T-Large loaned me the Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test once and if you haven't read it yet you might as well live on Mars. Read that shit and soak in the history of your forefathers. Fo Shizzle Pranksternizzle.