Probably not, because 70% of you are gayer than
this commercial. I'm not sure what the fucking score is, but that commercial is GAF, fantasy football is GAF. Why would you want anything at stake besides YOUR football team's record on Sunday? I know exactly what you're thinking, "But, BMR, there's a cash prize!" I could give a fuck about a cash prize. Fantasy leagues should start up in November, when half the teams' fans realize they aren't contending. Stats don't win football games and when I see a half hour show discussing "fantasy football" I get really frickin' pissed. Apparently not as pissed as Ball Deep gets at y'all skrimps, though. So help me god if one of you fucks asks me to join your fantasy league. The day I accept your offer, I will also do the following:
figure out who Taylor Swift is and buy her record
open a MySpace account
watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy
watch a Harry Potter movie
open a Facebook account
stop finding cougars attractive
drink cqq99 under the table
tweet
say goodbye to sensi-Boogers McRib
apologize to FetusFace for calling him out repeatedly
assist FetusFace in being "deflowered"
consider a vote for Sarah Palin in 2012
get ripped off by the Melting Pot restaurant
drink a Bud Light Lime
play Flip Cup
enter a nude wheel barrow race in Dupont Circle
many other things I have absolutely no intention of doing...
Fantasy Football, go to fuckin' sleep!
Alright i am back in. That commercial is the gayest thing I have ever seen. It reminded me of the Anthony Keidis running scene in the Under the Bridge video back in the day but gayer.
ReplyDeletehaha that list is amazing. i have read it 3 times and it is still funny.
Fantasy sports eat a fatty.
I agree with everything you said you wont do, except fantasy football. Obviously, I am more a fan of my team than some random collection of skiirimmppps, but, it is entertaining and also serves as a way to sometimes get the fuck out of the house (married men say what?). Also, it gives me an excuse to start drinking at 9am on Sundays.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have done fantasy NASCAR (weak), baseball (want to pull a J. Dahmer and drill into my own head to try to make a zombie), and basketball (fun if you are up on the game, but have not paid attention to bball in a while.) I think the only leagues left to try are fantasy (pro) fishing and possibly golf. These are all attempts by me to fill the void left when NFL leaves me on Sundays and I need to drink about something. Bring back NFL Europe bitches!
ReplyDeleteYeah. Well good luck becoming an actual contributor to the blog and all...
ReplyDeleteThanks!!! I have an interview with L.C. lined up right after he gets back from vacation and am nervous as fuck. Can you help me prepare sometime? I'll send you over some ideas.
ReplyDelete