Penis Buffet: Tico the Loco

Hey Ticodamus, do you have any more brave proclamations before your bitchass Hokies get stomped in the ground tomorrow? You and Head are gonna be watching 'The Notebook' on marathon loop when the Terps are done with you.

SUCK ONE!: Spambots

Dere you go, Spambots! Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am? Do you think I'm logging onto the Jackals' Den to read your fucking bullshit? Like bhmf said, round here we tend to back up what the fuck we say. See that screengrab up there? Yeah, that's right. I reported you to Google. Since they own all of our dicks, I figure they'll find a way to put the kibosh on the whackness you're spreading like the plague. Don't fuck wit tha Jackals, lest ye' get fucked wit. Ya' heard?

Pinch Me

The Baltimore Ravens are World Champions. And he springs this serious gourmet shit on us. I's expecting some freeze-dried Taster's Choice. What flavor is this?

Friday Hottie(s): Baltimore Ravens Cheerleaders

J(s)OTD: Benjamin Franklin/Jonathan Swift

Haha, farts...


Swift hides under the pseudonym “Don Fartinhando Puff-Indorst, Professor of Bumbast at the University of Craccow.” The essay is “translated into English at the Request and for the Use of the Lady Damp-Fart, of Her-fart-shire” by “Obadiah Fizle, Groom of the Stool to the Princess of Arse-Mini in Sardinia.” Oh, and it was also reviewed by a “College of Fizz-icians.”

GC(s)OTD: Spambots

These clones are trying to catch us asleep at the blog wheel. Yo, 'Anonymous', we aren't going to check out your virus-laden porn site. We're good. If you aren't going to jackal it up with jackalness and jackalisms, we ain't interested. Stop commenting in the 'Comments', got it? We are going to fuck you up. That shit ain't no joke.

Okay, we know bears shit in the woods, but what about a pool?

KFTC: Tico the Loco

Haters go on and hate. I think it's hilarious the amount of people trying to give me their blessing or curse. Coworkers, brothers in law, people that check in with the Den once per calendar year with horrible grammar and grasp of the English language in general despite decades of residence in America. I really don't give a fuck. I know life probably sucks when you work in IT and you and your wife lose all semblance of a sex life. Are you a 9ers fan or just bitter in general?

SUCK A COCK: RAVENS

Hey after all this years is going to suck ass to lose to a 6 time Super Bowl Champion. Life aint fair, go cry somewhere else.

KFTC: New England Patriots fans