Sneak Peek: Plompton Records HQ Opens Its Bosom to the Den

JOTD: Gore Vidal

This guy doesn't hold back a goddamn thing. That's why he's the Jackal of the Day. Ignore the stupid Brit/America sucks/"read my article" headline and read the dude's article. As I was looking for a picture of him, though, it turns out he always had a "beloved" cat. There's absolutely nothing jackal about that, but maybe he needs a little oil in his jackal vinegar if you know what I'm saying. If you have no clue what I'm saying, it's cool. Sticky Rice got "fatheaded" last night with my karaoke performance. I said "like a man" about 8 or 9 times and man was pronounced "may-awn", i.e. South Park, DVDA, Team America, etc.

fatheaded - "fat^hed-did" - past tense, verb: to be posterized as a life-size wall decoration, made an example
"Wow, Ray Lewis fatheaded the shit out of Darren Sproles in Week 2."

P.S. Have you EVER heard a more redneck story?

WTF????? Happy Birthday Jackal

x44jackal44x is apparently some shit head little kid that plays video games and sucks at guitar, but they say "happy birthday jackal" in this clip so that is sort of jackal, right? Maybe not, but Boogers McRib...you, my brother are jackal as a moafucka. Keep holdin' shit down on planet errff, son! Cradle to the grave, you my Jackal! Please baalleevvee me!




PS x44jackal44x do not sleep or we will kick you in your baby nuts. Baleeve it.

Congratulations! Your NFL team won a game! But your state is disintegrating...

So there's a proverbial monkey off of the collective backs of Michiganites everywhere, but you might want to remedy this situation. I can already see it, Detroit will be like the O.K. Corral when you take a road trip out west. You'll have to sell your baby to get a tank of gas. As depressing as it was to watch the 'Skins totally shit their bed, I was saddened much more by watching pathetic Lions fans celebrate their first victory since the 2007 calendar year. Their joy sobered the five beers I had drank(Dominion Hop Mountain Pale Ale, quite good, but in no way a "light" beer) right out of me. Football is fun to watch. When your team wins, it's really fun and it makes it easier to go to work and endure "the suck". Will somebody, other than the Lions, give Michigan a reason to not be totally fucking depressed? I'm not sure what I would do if I lived there, but it would inevitably lead to drugs, violence and more violence. I would constantly walk down the street with my jackals and ask, "Are you staring at him?" or I'd say "Don't even look at him!" in the hope of getting beaten to death and put out of my Detroitian misery. On a side note, 'Skins fans, please tell me there is a clause in Haynesworth's contract that says, "if this fat ass blows a tire, we don't have to pay him 100 million clams"

Quote of the Day

"Motherfucker hit my penis!"



P.S. Go Hokies! I really can't get enough of Jason Worilds absolutely abusing that Miami offensive lineman at 3:13...
P.P.S. Ball Deep, a recommendation: Start watching college football.

Gay Clone of the Century: Dan fucking Snyder

Seriously fuck this guy.  Fuck 'em.  You are the reason that my team sucks.  In the words of Shitseppi Jones "Ya fucking prick."  Losing to the fucking Detroit Lions?  Really??  Do you realize what havoc you have unleashed on my beloved Redskins since you got here?  Now we are going to fire everyone and get a whole bunch of other shitheads that don't know what the fuck is going and the whole thing will start over again.  Because you and you fuckbuddy Vinnie Cerrato are two busy blowing each other and Tom Cruise that you don't know shit about making a good football team and you will continue to make the same mistakes.  

I fucking hate you Dan Synder.  I hope you get the gout. GO the FUCK ASLEEP!  Please for the sake of everything good and right...go work for Dallas.  They like assholes there.  Or work for NY, douchebaggery runs rampant there.  Get the fuck out of DC.  Let some other city feel your wrath.  You have unleashed enough poison in DC.  

If I see you in person I will light your ass up with more UNF than the press is going to give Jim Zorn and Campbell combined over the entire rest of the season. That is if you don't fire him and get Eric Mangini as the new head coach and get Michael Vick as the new QB (don't act like you didnt think about it....bitch).  It wouldn't surprise me because the only certainty about you is that you will always make the wrong choice.  Fuck you very, very much.

PS GO Skins!  I hope we find a way to turn this shit around because it doesn't look good and because this was supposed to be the "easy" part of the season.  I am not mad at the team.  It is not their fault.  It is the dumbass front office that put them there that is the real problem.  It is too early to throw in the towel, any real jackal can admit when he is beat, but we ain't there...yet.

Jackal vs GAF: Jackal wins every time

JACKAL


GAF



PS I am pretty sure the dude from Creed is wearing mascara, leather pants and feeling his Moobs at 27 seconds


PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS Skins better beat the fucking Lions.

JOTD- Craphonso Thorpe- The Man, The Legend

I stumbled upon this oddity while looking at the UFL's website. This guy is currently a reciever for the New York Sentinels, and I will be watching this team in the hopes that this guy makes a play, so I can hear the announcers try to say his name.

What exactly were his parents thinking? Blending shit with a weird mexicanish/italian name? All I know is it makes me laff, and also be on the lookout for Shitseppi Jones out of the Las Vegas Locos!

Edit- I actually just looked, and there is an Adrian Awasom on the LVL's. WTF? I guess they really cant afford people with real names.

Colonial Parking Can Suck It

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

JOTD: Biagio Sciscione

While the eyewitness account, Biagio's wife, is a bit suspect, I can only hope I'm not guzzling bitch juice at the ripe count of 88 years. It takes significant amounts of sac to claim your with a religious group to distract a nice old man who was willing to die for the country you stink up with your laziness and reluctance to find respectable employment, while your shithead buddies make off with his safe full o' jewels. It gives me great hope to know this jackal was reppin' Dirty Jerz and my blood jackal, BD, stands a chance at takin' jackaldom to tha' grave, if he does, in fact, have to live there his entire life. Biagio, you my ninja.