So there's a proverbial monkey off of the collective backs of Michiganites everywhere, but you might want to remedy this situation. I can already see it, Detroit will be like the O.K. Corral when you take a road trip out west. You'll have to sell your baby to get a tank of gas. As depressing as it was to watch the 'Skins totally shit their bed, I was saddened much more by watching pathetic Lions fans celebrate their first victory since the 2007 calendar year. Their joy sobered the five beers I had drank(Dominion Hop Mountain Pale Ale, quite good, but in no way a "light" beer) right out of me. Football is fun to watch. When your team wins, it's really fun and it makes it easier to go to work and endure "the suck". Will somebody, other than the Lions, give Michigan a reason to not be totally fucking depressed? I'm not sure what I would do if I lived there, but it would inevitably lead to drugs, violence and more violence. I would constantly walk down the street with my jackals and ask, "Are you staring at him?" or I'd say "Don't even look at him!" in the hope of getting beaten to death and put out of my Detroitian misery. On a side note, 'Skins fans, please tell me there is a clause in Haynesworth's contract that says, "if this fat ass blows a tire, we don't have to pay him 100 million clams"
$41m but who's counting:
ReplyDeleteSynder and Cerrato blow goats
After two career seasons, human beings that large don't play for seven years. Which begs the question, why a 7-year deal? The best way to look at Albert Haynesworth is to coin a nickname: Albert "Price of Four O-Lineman" Haynesworth. It's a train wreck like this that reinforces my love, yes LOVE of Ozzie Newsome. Michael Oher, Rookie of the Year. Baleeve it.
ReplyDeleteI think when that fat fuck broke his ankle yesterday I saw gravy pouring out of it. And then I remembered how the Lions always play on Thanksgiving. Which is when I eat Turkey, covered in gravy. Circle of life homies.
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