Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Boogerdamus: Steelers Miss the Playoffs

I was extremely shocked when ESPN opened wide and unanimously crowned the Pittsburgh Steelers 2010 Super Bowl Champions without playing a snap. They're in for a shit storm I tell you. My birds lost fair and square three times, I'm not on here to take away from last year. I'm just going on the record, right now. Steelers miss the playoffs. Book it. Kerry Collins is scared like a mother fucker when it comes to the Baltimore Ravens, but I am guaranteeing, yes, jackal on record, guaranteeing a Tennessee victory in Shittsburgh tomorrow. Book it, Danno. Call your bookie. Open the book and read them pages. 10-6, I got a little carried away with the whole 9-7 thing, but no playoffs. Boogerdamus has spoken.

WTF?????

All I heard through the Address to Congress was the following:

"FIRST!....blah...blah...blah...town hall....SECOND!...Ted Kennedy...blah...blah...blah...$900 Billion...blah...blah...blah...won't cost taxpayers any money...blah...blah...blah...social justice...blah...blah...blah...I STILL BALLEEVVE WE CAN DO GREAT THINGS!...THAT IS OUR CHARACTER!"

What the fuck are you serious??  How the fuck are you going to pay for it?  Just print some more Benjamin's?  Cash for Clunkers wasn't supposed to cost the taxpayers money either. 
Oops, never saw that coming.

And what is with the MLK impersonation?  "I STILL BALLEEVVEE"  and shit.  What the fuck is that?  I love you Obama, but this shit is getting out of hand.  I don't think we are going to get this fixed anytime soon based on the reaction of the 'Publican 'Mericans.  "I'm not clapping for you..na na na...nana....naaaa"  

Pick a battle.  The War, Healthcare, the environment, the economy, foreign affairs.  Fix one, THEN move onto the next thing.  Dude is trying to do everything at once.  That is what chicks do.  We are not chicks Obama.  We are jackals...THAT IS OUR CHARACTER!

PS  Psst!  President Obama, we are still in a recession. 

GCOTD: Nancy Pelosi

Count Nancy Pelosi's blinks during this address. I want to punch her about the face each time those wretched lashes crash into one another.

Close Call: Almost Gave a Shit About Womens' Tennis


This chick is really busted. Why couldn't she be hot?

Jackal Proposition: Sarah Palin/Ann Coulter make-out session

I wanted to take a post to propose that this chick and this chick get it on. I hate them both so much, I just want to watch them make out. Thoughts?
If you have some time today and aren't boiling with frustration over the "healthcare debate" a.k.a. tires spinning in mud that is the American political system, check out what the near vice president has to say about beaureacratizing our current system and how it won't be good for the American economy.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Jack Del Rio, Catchy name, snazzy threads.




As an obligatory post, for the gear up to the best weekend of the year, a tribute to a man with style.














But a middling to mediocre team.

The Naga (Bhut) Jolokia Pepper

I have eaten a pussy size piece of a habanero pepper- and it instantly made me break out with the flop sweats and my tongue went numb instantly. The habanero avgs 200,000-300,000 Scoville units. This bitch puts that to shame, with a new, 2007 Guinness World record for hottest chili pepper. It avgs around 1,000,000 Scoville units of capscaisin. By comparison - Tobasco sauce is around 2500-5000 Scoville units.

What the fuck did I do? I cant get this fucking hyperlink off here.

Anyways, I have acquired 3 of these, they are currently in cold storage in my fridge. I get freaked out, and just a little bit excited, looking at them. Anybody want to get drunk with me, and throw one in a pot of chili?



I am terrified of having these in the house, and don't know what to do with them. Should I just jackal up and house 1, or feed some to unsuspecting people at parties later? Maybe both. I will follow up if I grow some baby nuts and deal with these.

GCOTD: Any Pittsburgh Steeler, but How About This One in Particular?


Troy is about the gayest fuckin' name I've ever heard. This commercial had better pay well. If cutting your hair is against your religion, you might be GAF.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Jackal Update: ACC Sucks at Football

Football in the ACC is boring. I went to a tiny private college that could never hope to put a football team on the field and there's something to be said about blind faith in your school. I love ACC Basketball. It's the shit. Don't get me wrong. Greivis, you're my fuckin' boy, I hope I spelled your name right. But, Kenny Tate, can you show us something against a school whose logo is this gay?

 

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Scar Shoulders Presents: Know Your Terps, Kenny Tate Edition


You see that ice cold stare? The focus? Meet red shirt sophmore coverted wide receiver 6 foot 4 two hundred and fifty pounds strong safety Kenny Tate.
This guy will be all over the field tonight. My prediction is a sack and an INT, and if we're lucky... he'll make Javid Best spill his lunch all over the field... again.
Go Terps!