Dan Snyder = DB or the Century!

I hate Dan Snyder... Yes HATE!

"football player"

nothing else to say, but what a fag...

Where Jackals Fear to Tread: The Middle East

Wow...Imagine how many lashes we would have received in our lives by now if we were unfortunate enough to be born in this country.

'Merica may have its problems to be certain, but shit like this makes me feel fortunate to not live in a place like Saudi Arabia.

Dude not only got sentenced to 5 years FPMITA (Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison) but also got 1,000 lashes (don't know what that is "exactly" but sounds really bad) for talking about having fun. "charged with violating Saudi Arabia's crime of publicizing vice." He didn't even get caught having fun, just openly discussing it meant a beating and jail time. These officials are clearly sex starved and not thinking straight. I hope all these virgins they are going to get in heaven have a bad case of herpes and faces like Charles Barkley.

"Pre-marital sex is illegal, and unrelated men and women are not permitted to mingle." What the hell is that? That is the GAFest thing I have ever heard. There are some crazy mofos over there.

By the way this picture is totally unrelated to this story. It took place in Yemen, but it is most likely another situation where someone was murdered/tortured in front of others for doing something totally normal to keep the cycle of fear going. FUCK THAT..

Someone needs to get shit control over there.

Bitches.

Jackals who knwo how to read and tsuff

I had a scary thought today. When football is over there will be many nights where deciding between "Two and a half Men" and "Anderson Cooper 360" may be a real decision to have to make. (For the record, I would never watch either of those things, merely trying to make a point that 99.97% of TV sucks balls.)

So I am soliciting the help of my jackals to give me some good books to check out. A few Jackal must reads to help eliminate the need to weed through the aisles and aisles of self-help books and Giants Superbowl picture books and the rest of the bullshit that plagues the bookstores these days.  No real preference on fiction/non-fiction just as long as it is good isshh.

I'll kick it off with just a few at the top of my list:

On the Road Jack Kerouac

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Robert Pirsig

Into the Wild Jon Krakauer

Way of the Peaceful Warrior Dan Millman

PS  I admit Jackals and Book club don't really mix, but I digress...

GCOTD: Vince Vaughn

I feel pretty bad for all you jackals out there who will be dragged to this douchebag's new movie by your wife or significant other. "Swingers" was a great film and the second one of your jackals starts doubting himself, he'd do well to be told that he's money and he doesn't know it. Heather Graham was so hot in that movie. Way too hot for John Favreau, but that's Hollywood isn't it? However, despite the Double V's excellent character and priceless improv in the diner scene "there's my special lady, nothing but smiles for me" or "I'm the asshole" or "'cause you're growns up and you're growns up and you're growns up", his descent into douchebaggery has been well documented. "Old School" was pretty awesome too, but it seems like they threw it together way too fast, as funny as old school was, it fell very short of its potential. Ever since that movie, Vince Vaughn plays the same character, with the same voice, delivery, one-liners. Yes, that is still John Favreau in the supporting actor role. Please, jackals, find a way to sit this one out.

Sneak Peek: Plompton Records HQ Opens Its Bosom to the Den

JOTD: Gore Vidal

This guy doesn't hold back a goddamn thing. That's why he's the Jackal of the Day. Ignore the stupid Brit/America sucks/"read my article" headline and read the dude's article. As I was looking for a picture of him, though, it turns out he always had a "beloved" cat. There's absolutely nothing jackal about that, but maybe he needs a little oil in his jackal vinegar if you know what I'm saying. If you have no clue what I'm saying, it's cool. Sticky Rice got "fatheaded" last night with my karaoke performance. I said "like a man" about 8 or 9 times and man was pronounced "may-awn", i.e. South Park, DVDA, Team America, etc.

fatheaded - "fat^hed-did" - past tense, verb: to be posterized as a life-size wall decoration, made an example
"Wow, Ray Lewis fatheaded the shit out of Darren Sproles in Week 2."

P.S. Have you EVER heard a more redneck story?

WTF????? Happy Birthday Jackal

x44jackal44x is apparently some shit head little kid that plays video games and sucks at guitar, but they say "happy birthday jackal" in this clip so that is sort of jackal, right? Maybe not, but Boogers McRib...you, my brother are jackal as a moafucka. Keep holdin' shit down on planet errff, son! Cradle to the grave, you my Jackal! Please baalleevvee me!




PS x44jackal44x do not sleep or we will kick you in your baby nuts. Baleeve it.

Congratulations! Your NFL team won a game! But your state is disintegrating...

So there's a proverbial monkey off of the collective backs of Michiganites everywhere, but you might want to remedy this situation. I can already see it, Detroit will be like the O.K. Corral when you take a road trip out west. You'll have to sell your baby to get a tank of gas. As depressing as it was to watch the 'Skins totally shit their bed, I was saddened much more by watching pathetic Lions fans celebrate their first victory since the 2007 calendar year. Their joy sobered the five beers I had drank(Dominion Hop Mountain Pale Ale, quite good, but in no way a "light" beer) right out of me. Football is fun to watch. When your team wins, it's really fun and it makes it easier to go to work and endure "the suck". Will somebody, other than the Lions, give Michigan a reason to not be totally fucking depressed? I'm not sure what I would do if I lived there, but it would inevitably lead to drugs, violence and more violence. I would constantly walk down the street with my jackals and ask, "Are you staring at him?" or I'd say "Don't even look at him!" in the hope of getting beaten to death and put out of my Detroitian misery. On a side note, 'Skins fans, please tell me there is a clause in Haynesworth's contract that says, "if this fat ass blows a tire, we don't have to pay him 100 million clams"

Quote of the Day

"Motherfucker hit my penis!"



P.S. Go Hokies! I really can't get enough of Jason Worilds absolutely abusing that Miami offensive lineman at 3:13...
P.P.S. Ball Deep, a recommendation: Start watching college football.