..............and Kangaroo Taxes go hand and hand. Baked beans are going to cost $50 soon and your fine Senator from MD, Boogers McRib, is gonna be taxing you an extra $10 a can so you don't consume too many.
If you can afford to scrape together enough money to buy some beans despite the hefty prices you'll still have to dole out a few more dollars before you are done. Oh yes, Boogers is serious about his carbon tax you see. Don't fart or you'll pay. And if you don't pay he'll have his buddy Malawi lock you up when you break wind.
You accused me of being "long-winded" my friend and well you might just be right. But if this is so, then it must follow that you are full of shit.
I am eating Mexican bean dip as we talk of which the main ingredient is baked beans. And shortly hereafter I will be farting so if you smell something funny down there in Capitol Town it might be our tax-happy elected representatives or it might just be a ALASKAN FART aimed in your general direction!!!
I can't believe you got your wife to pose for that photo. bhmf will stop at nothing to make a point. KFTC.
ReplyDeleteOh BMR that is a low blow. Besides any one with two eyes can see that is not my wife but a funny picture I pulled off the internet.
ReplyDeleteNow be a man and admit that that shit is funny!
It is probably top 5 funniest photos ever to grace the Den's haughty bosom. Oddly, it's more applicable to your argument than it is funny(which is saying a whole fuckin' lot). Well done. Let me say on behalf of the Den, you bhmf, prior to your arrival, were our missing jackal. That may not be the best news you've gotten this week, but your pictures, opinions, commentary are all quite welcome here.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to add that up until this morning, my greatest fear was pulling up tits and poontang on my work computer. I guess I have to add megaphone sodomy to that list...
ReplyDeleteYo you done analyzed that photo too much. I hadn't a clue that was a megaphone. I thought it was a fucking traffic cone. I tried not to focus too much I just blurred my vision a bit and hit post.
ReplyDeleteI also thought traffic clone... boogers be staring at that photo a little too closely... I'm just saying...
ReplyDeleteNo, he has a huge can of beans too! What are the chances?
ReplyDeleteYeah, SS, keep up the pressure on the ass cone, while remaining mum on the 'Jersey Shore' link. This jackal don't sleep.
ReplyDeleteDo I gotta explain everything to you guys??? The Beans are his "gas" his "fuel" his "locomotion". Damn that's the part that makes the whole thing funny. Gives a new meaning to fueled by natural gas. I'm here all night folks!
ReplyDeleteWhat's this, SS a closet Shore fan? SS care to remain mum......do spill the beans........whys you mum?????????
That shit is funny. I laugh at those stupid Jersey fucks. I don't think they're cool ,I think they are mouth breathers and I laugh at their pathetic lives. It's entertaining. I'm not closeted. It reminds me of asshole I knew from Jersey in college. Added bonus I get to laugh at Ball Deep for living in the same town with those assholes. It's honestly the only television I watch outside of sports and South Park. I'm not the least bit ashamed. I could give a fuck if you two numbnuts don't think it's funny never having seen an episode of it...
ReplyDeleteOh, I've seen it. My eyes and fragile mind were sullied while hanging out with you... and your special lady friend who apparently wears the remote control pants in your relationship.
ReplyDeleteI am with McRib on this one, sullied is a good word for it.
ReplyDeleteRemote control pants, damn you gonna take that shit SS???
You gonna let BMR tell you who wears the remote pants???
I watch it without her. She is out of town and I'll watch it tomorrow. But KFTC if you believe the bullshit BMR peddles. As an aside: You're welcome for breakfast you ungrateful fuck. Next time I WON'T invite you over to eat free food and drink free drink and holler at the shorty you failed to close with the night before. I'll make like Wall Street, coffees for closers.
ReplyDeleteThat's some nice flame stokin', bhmf. Well played.
ReplyDeleteQuick note on breakfast, I ran it by VM who knows all things culinary, including the need to soak beans before eating them, but he also knows garlic has no place in a breakfast scramble. I definitely said thanks before I rolled out, so you can call me ungrateful, I don't give a fuck. If you had said, "BMR, come eat some breakfast and watch some clone-ass reality TV," I probably would have had some Cheerios and listened to the Caps on the radio.
If I was sober, I would never try to close with shorty in question or any other shorty in that circle of friends. How old are those girls you're spending all your time with anyway?
Good work trying to imply the caps game was on when you were over which it wasn't as I watched it shortly after you left. While geting my jackal jackaled if you were wondering. I'm just trying to help a brother out by tossing him shorties 5 blocks from his house who won't make him go to dupont or the most depressing bar in dc and drink a jackals bought beer and then disappear into the thin air leaving him to jackal his own jackal.
ReplyDeleteThey DEFINITELY dropped the puck while I was escaping your Jersey-laden reality hell hole. If I follow you, which I'm sure I don't, the Raven is the shit and the girl I met there was A LOT better looking than the one I failed to "close the deal" with. A lot.
ReplyDeleteThe Puck might have been dropped while you were walking home ... I just know I saw it.
ReplyDeleteAnd aren't they both the one you failed to "close the deal" with? At least shorties roomate was willing to hang out with you past 9pm and didn't cost you however much you spent on her at the bar which makes it such that you can't go out this weekend.
Why don't you take a tip from a Jackal that went before ya "chasing tail that don't treat you well and you got nothing in common with because its the hottest tail you can get" ain't worth it. <--- gospel truth.
Let's discuss a little more about my dating woes on the Jackals Den, 'cause that's jackal. You want to disclose my insufficient income too? I figure as long as we're at it. Your 5:04PM comment is clone-tastic. It sort of reminds me of the episode of Jersey Shore when Snookie falls asleep in the tanning bed and Paulie runs out of hair gel.
ReplyDeletePaulie ran out of hair gel???
ReplyDeleteWhat happened next? Did someone loan him some more? How did his hair look?
Hey man I'm just trying to help a brother out. You and I went out steady hollering for a solid month when I first moved down here with NOTHING but failure. I have found a Jackalette that makes me wanna howl at the moon and I've gained a level of spiritual enlightenment I previously was missing. Now that I've got the inside track on some shorties I'm trying to guide them your way. Friday night there was a brunette that no bullshit was Friday hottie worthy. I didn't even talk to her so I have no idea who she was. There was also a cute blond cougar you might have been into as cougars are your thing. Shorty Jackals it up and seems to have about 8000 different groups of friends so I'll keep herding them your way much like Brodie herds ninjas to the other side of the street when y'all are out getting your walk on. I'm happy as a Jackal in Anubis's bosom and want ALL my Jackals to be feeling the same way. I apologize for my previously negative comment. Air of positivity like our main man Barack. As BD2 and I will send when we get awesome and smack each other in the unsuspecting face next weekend "nothin but love, nothing but love".
ReplyDelete"How did his hair look? "
ReplyDeleteFucking classic.
No, these jackals are good. Fuckin' got the Den goin' with some UNF, did it not? Viva El Callero y Stato de Unio del Jackals Den!!! HHHHHHOOOOOOOOWWWWWWLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
My Spanish looks like Tico's English.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, I don't live in Spain. Go Terps!
"Fortunately, I don't live in Spain."
ReplyDeleteClassic.