Apparently, someone didn't realize who's security deposit they were trying to keep. I'm damn sure I called for about 16 hours straight one time. She's almost blocked every extension at my work, also the land line for the house I'm renting. If you guys could lend a hand and start blowing her up and leaving hilarious voicemails, that would be jackal as a motherfucker. 202.409.4372 is the number for Fani Cruz Portillo. Think of me as the Wicked Witch of the West and y'all as the Wingkey's, only you have cell phones instead of wings and your not monkeys. But the mindset, capture the Wingkey mindset. Shit is like cerebral gold. Oh yeah! The real point of my post and picture above. She finally answered the phone this morning. What follows is a loose synopsis of the conversation:
Fani-"Hello?"
BMR-"Fani, what's up? Can I come by and get my security deposit this weekend?"(as if she didn't just pick up my 892nd call in three weeks...)
Fani-"I'm not chossing to give it back, I don't want to do that."
BMR-"Fani Portillo Cruz, it's not a matter of want, it's the law. It was in the lease."
Fani-"Was it in the lease that you would be harassing me and calling me (audibly tearing up) and sending people to my house and...(indiscernable)
BMR-"All I'm asking is to get it back."
Fani-"I told you I was moving to another place."(full on crying) "I was going to return it after 30 days, but you..."
If you could, get real bombed this weekend and UNF this crook.
If you love your brother, and you want him to stay employed you will never post something this funny again because I just made a seen laughing out loud at my pc.
ReplyDeleteNot to be the Debbie Downer here but even though the law is on your side for the sec deposit, she can come after you for harassment. That said, I'll place my call to Fanny post haste.
Drinking and eating in preperation for dialing as we speak. Thinking I might go Jerky Boys on her...
ReplyDeleteHONKEY TONK this is funny, PS DC tenant laws are about as slanted as they come in favor of the tenant, you could get yours and then some in small claims.
ReplyDelete"just made a seen"
ReplyDeletewow, I need to go back to school, i am getting dumber everyday.
I was going to mock you but felt it was Heads move to make... Good self catch.
ReplyDelete