BMR/Head Jackal? Bait Post

This is stupid. Obama's Health care plan sucks.
Ravens suck.
Weed sucks.
VT sucks.

Hybrids suck.

Vegetarians are European and/or GAF.

Bluegrass sucks.

Comics about Jackals suck.
Nerds suck.
Dogs suck.
Virginia sucks.

Vegas Recap: Epic Jackalness in Sin City (The Proof)

imitating all the chicks that take sexy pictures everywhere in Vegas.  a.k.a freakin out the squaresNastiest beers ever consumed
ONLY cool things about England
imitating all the chicks that take sexy pictures...to the next level
SS = JAF that lady with the warmups and cowboy hat = gay clone ass bama
scene of the crime(s)
even our camera was drunk
Why Redskins, why?  on my vacation nonetheless...SS order us another Bloody Mary and Modelo stat.
See that hotel that says Encore way the fuck in the back?  This is half way there from our hotel. yeah, we walked there....drunk
Most jackal dude ever
Hey, ya part of da family.
Tiger that ate the Roy or the other one... who cares still badass.  dude was droppin UNF everywhere
dolphins are GAF
Animal park?  get me a drink.
Ball Deep...out.

I only hope we can rinse and repeat with more jackals next time to take it to the next level.  Good times, SS.  Good times.

Vegas Recap: Epic Jackalness in Sin City (The Words)

As ScarShoulders mentioned in previous posts the Vegas adventure was quite jackal indeed.  I am not sure I have any mental capacity left to compose logical thought, but I will do my best to recap the awesomeness that ensued as best as a broken jackal can.

Got awesome on the plane with Mrs. BD2 to expedite travel time

Arrived at Mirage, words cannot describe how much the urge to get awesome permeates this place. 

Checked in and immediately consume Buffalo chicken sandwich and multiple fat tires at BB Kings restaurant

Ventured out to find a liquor store

Purchase 12 cans of Busch and small bottle of Smirnoff for $45 (Vegas is expensive as fuck)

Empty contents into sink and add ice for pregaming

eventually became known as trashcan beers because we moved to hotel room trashcan when we realized sinks are sometimes needed for things like brushing teeth and/or washing hands.

Back to BB Kings for more food and fat tires and John Lee Hooker (Jr.) I think the real JLH is dead now...

When SS and Mrs.  SS finally arrived after consuming some trashcan beers we headed down the the club in our casino.  We did our best rubes impression by waiting in line at GAF club at JET.  Wives get into club way before us and proceed to get awesome sans jackals.  Pretty jackal for them, not so much for us.  Luckily drinking in the open is not only legal but encouraged everywhere in the city limits.  Crisis evaded.  If it weren't for the half naked go-go dancers the bar would have sucked royally.  Clubs are for scrimps...

Next morning sat at the pool and let our faces melt off.  Then began freaking out the squares Secret Garden exhibit by saying that dolphins suck and that we bet they are happier here in little shitty cages rather than the ocean.  Then SS yelled in front of a large group waiting in line that they show the lions eating baby goats....so awesome

Did our best Tony Soprano impression by dropping 3-large on gigantic steaks for SS's bday dinner

Later that night went to Cirque de Soleil which in my case involved watching ninjas and fireworks unless you are SS and you had to watch ballet to Yellow Submarine at the Beatles Love show.

Followed by a visit to Rhumbar which was an outdoor club with heaters and watched some jackal get down to jungle beats clearly not giving a fuck about anyone around him.  Quite impressive.

SS gambled until 6am as he mentioned, I pulled a Droppa Duece and was nowhere to be found.  My bad SS, won't happen next time.

Next day was sort of a blur because we started drinking at 10am when football started.  Went to a sick sports bar called Lagasse's Stadium which is apparently owned by Emeril (yeah the lame BAM guy.)  Explains why the 5 lb nachos with pulled pork were so tasty.  This place was unreal.  Gigantic TV screens and couches and beers and bloody Mary's...ooooh the Bloody mary's were so awesome.  (Redskins sucked a fatty....shocker.)

Gambled, gambled and gambled.  Free drinks and I think SS actually used real money. I on the other hand never broke the $50 mark.  (puusssaaaayyy)

Enjoyed another BB King dinner which involved insanely tasty Bayou gumbo and more Fat tires.  The ladies had mixed drinks with 151, which enabled much more awesome getting on our part.  

Then we headed over the Beatles Revolution bar and tripping out in the lounge with Austin Powers chick look alike servers and nothing but Beatles jams.  Pretty sweet, but SS was craving more beats, rhymes and life...

So we traversed the state of Nevada trying to get to the Wynn hotel literally a long as fuck walk, including crossing fences, parking garages and multiple casinos only to be too drunk to get into the club

return to Rhumbar as the top off to the evening rocked some stogies and Guinness and called it a night because awesomeness had been gotten....and it was good.

There is so much more to be told.  Maybe when I actually get some semblance of mental capacity back I will try to do a better job at telling the tale of when SS and BD2 rocked the fuck out of Vegas, but I guess there is that whole "happens in Vegas" BS slogan so maybe not.

Just woke up

I must have slept in... it is now 3pm EST and I am still in my boxers.  Let me go make myself my morning coffee and I'll get right on those posts ScarShoulders.

Is My Watch Broken?

My watch says it's 1:35pm EST and I see ZERO posts from BD2. The man had a quota of 3 posts for the day while he was at home scratching his balls and the rest of us were at work. Did he take his own life when he woke up this morning and realized he was no longer in Vegas? Did the Asian Mafia we wronged in Vegas by taking sexually explicit photos in front of their children get him and kill him? Did he think that his quota wasn't due by COB? Hopefully he is just perfecting his crafts and my worries are for not. . . .

DEFINITION of Jackal

Wednesday November 25, 2008
6am - Wake up and head off to boring as work. Only Jackal activity of note is eating 3 pounds of meat at Hee Been Korean BBQ for lunch

5pm - Hit the grocery store on the way home for a cooler full of energy drinks. Could SS be planning something epic? Could he be planning to take back his get awesome crown?

Thursday November 26, 2008

1am - Head off to NYC for the parade.

6:30am - Get off the Subway and hit the parade route.

9am - The parade is the jump off. The Lynx comes through by knowing some dude named Ron that is all drunk and loud and giving the entire parade props and really is a Jackal from another mother.

12:30pm - Back in the car and headed to MD

12:31pm - Both the Mrs and the Lynx pass the fuck out leaving your boy on his own to get us back to MD alive.

12:32pm - Drink 1st Monster energy drink.

12:35pm - Falling asleep in shitty Philly traffic. Suck one Aldente Schwanz. I hate you I hate Jersey I hate Philly I hate Philly traffic.

12:40pm - Drink 2nd Monster energy drink.

12:50pm - They kick in. Driving. Rapping. Swerving. Making awesome time. Feeling most high for the Dos Def.

4pm - Back to HoCo shocking the in laws with our level of awesomeness and over to the grandparents.

6pm - Back to the in laws and I stop in the garage to grab a beer before even entering the house. I've earned it.

7pm - Dinner, beer, wine, champagne, scotch, scotch scotch!!!

11pm - After a handful of drinks, after the Mrs goes to bed, after I watch the Giants suck, after both of my drinking buddies pass out/fall asleep, after 41 consecutive hours of being awake and being awesome Scar Shoulders rests... but not for long.

Friday November 27, 2008

10am - Hit the bank and turn small bills into Hundys.

2pm - BWI flight takes off for Chi-Town.

5pm (Chi Town time) - Chi-Town beers during the layover.

8pm (Vegas time) - Touch down head to the Mirage and . . . . . . meet up with BD2 to get awesome!

9pm through 2am - Get awesome with the Mrs and BD2 and Mrs BD2. Get the Mrss so awesome in fact yours truly has to escort her to bed. But Scar Shoulders, shouldn't you get some sleep too? After all it's 5am east coast time and you have only slept 8 of the last 72 hours...



5am - Finally head back to the room after a solo gambling mission while the rest of my group was catching Zs (yes BD2 I am calling you a bitch) losing a hundy on Hold Em (where I had 2 more scotches and was pretty close to falling asleep at the table) and another hundy on craps (2 more scotches please!). Go to sleep knowing that not in his wildest dreams could Babyface get this awesome. Straight fire homey.



Saturday November 28, 2009 (SSs 29th Bday)



I'll let BD2 put down the permanent record of what went down this day but I can tell you this much. We started drinking a hair after noon while freaking out some squares at the dolphin and tiger exhibit. It didn't stop it just continued through football watching, steak dinner eating, Cirque de Soliel shows, drinks at Rhumbar, and finally Roulette and Craps playing where BD2 and Mrs BD2 bitched out on gambling at the worst time ever as SS and Mrs SS got way hot on craps and took $250 and $150 respectively off the Casino before calling it a night around 3am.



All in all SS has been getting awesome for the better side of 5 days now. I'de love to write more but I got a bloody mary to get and football to watch.



Your move Babyface.

Jackal of the Day: CQQ99

Boricua!!

CQQ99 is engaged to mi prima! Congrats on getting legit son!

You part of the family now, my Jackal!

Bachelor Party dibs...

Getting Awesome Battle for the Family Crown

It's on. It has been brought to my attention via a text pic message

early this morning that Babyface is coming for my crown. King of the Shoulders family awesome getters. You want some of this son? You think staying up later than me one Saturday night when I went to bed sick after 16 hours of getting awesome gives you this crown? You think you got the gravitas to get moto loco with SS ese?

BRING

IT

ON

Vegas you better watch the fuck out, Jackals got crowns to reclaim.

(I) Fuck with your soul like ether

(WILL) Teach you the king you know you

(NOT) "Gods Son" across the belly

(LOSE) I prove you lost already

Vegas, Jackal, Vegas!

Since no one else appears to be on the Den, I decided to continue my selfish posting trend over the past few days and brag about SS's and BD2's pending Vegas trip. Unlike the now gay clone Clonelle, SS and I will report the events of our Vegas trip post haste. You ever seen Cirque de Soleil.....on weeeed? In 3 days yours truly and SS will be getting awesome in Vegas. Please baleeeevee meh.

HHHHHHHOOOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

Most Jackal of All Time Nominee (Again): Miles Davis

Photo Caption: "Go Asleep and shit"

You may remember my post where I touted Miles as the most Jackal of all time. I contend any jackal to offer some other entry that would be better. He made REAL American music, he was the Godfather of modern music, he got awesome (I heard in an interview he said he got so awesome he passed out for 5 days....5...days.. awesome.), drove Ferraris, pimped (white) women, and was basically the shit in every way. And his music is fucking amazing.

By the way if you have Sirius or XM, they are running a Miles Davis Radio this week which inspired this follow up up post:

NEW YORK - SIRIUS XM Radio (NASDAQ: SIRI) announced that it launched Miles Davis Radio,
a 24-hour commercial-free channel devoted to the music and career of Miles
Davis, one of the greatest visionaries and most important figures in jazz
history.

The limited-run channel will launch on Friday, November 20 at
3:00 pm ET and will run until Wednesday, November 25 on SIRIUS channel 72 and XM
channel 70.