DJ Shadow = JACKAL AS A MOAFUCKA

Every jackal should make it a point to witness this DVD.  If you think because a DJ doesn't play an instrument that means they are not musically talented you are GAF...

Never Forget... For Real

9-11-01 is a day that will live along 12-7-1941, as a day of infamy and terror on American soil. We lost more than 3000 Americans because of these "humans".

I think that we should all be vigilant with our values and rights as Americans, and not forget the lives of so many who came before us and died, to preserve those rights and Freedoms that define the United States of America and its people.

In closing, I will be visiting NYC around Nov. 14, and any local peeps up there, I invite to join me in doing this at Ground Zero.

Ball DEEP Can Taste Victory Already

Shouldaz, your absence in the Den only indicates one thing. You are skerrred. "If you skerrrred say you skeerrreed!" You know your bitch ass VAG-iants are going down in their home opener at the hands of my Rayad-skins (how black people from DC say it). All the talking heads are skeerreed too. They are all picking the Giants, but we all know it will be me drinking Jameson after this upset victory. Better run to the liquor store on your way home tonight and buy a case of Jameson, because this may be the first but it will not be the last bottle you owe me this season.

24-21 Skins Win.

Pllleeeeaasssseeee baaalllleeeeeeeeevvvveveee meeeeah!

BALLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVEEE IT!!

Ewwww! Really?!?

I definitely joked about this possibility with friends and colleagues, but come on. Semenya, throw us a bone! Get it? Way to stick with it. Those "other" chicks would be nuts to race you. It sucks your last name is Semenya, because when I saw you run, I could have sworn you were a johnson. Well, now that you have some time off, do some travelling. Maybe drop into Germany for Oktoberfest and swing by a sausage fest while you're at it. Who knows? Do a comedy routine with Andy Dick. All I know is you are one fast mutha..., brotha? You sure are fast.

Hilarious Unnoticed Political Scandal of Yesterday

Married Republican California Assemblyman Mike Duvall was caught by a microphone bragging about sex with two different lobbyists. Excerpts:

She wears little eye-patch underwear, so I can see her eye patches. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday, a lot. And so she'll she's all, I am going up and down the stairs and you're dripping out of me. So messy.

So I am getting into spanking her… Yeah, I like it… I like spanking her. She goes, I know you like spanking me, I said yeah, that's 'cause you're such a bad girl.

I love this quote by a local staffer:

Their relationship is the worst-kept secret in Sacramento. He's old and fat. She's hot, blonde and about 20
 years younger. He could have never gotten a woman like that before he got
 this job.

Ah, the life of a politician. And to make matters worse, he then resigns, but says:

I want to make it clear that my decision to resign is in no way an admission that I had an affair or affairs. My offense was engaging in inappropriate story-telling and I regret my language and choice of words. The resulting media coverage was proving to be an unneeded distraction to my colleagues and I resigned in the hope that my decision would allow them to return to the business of the state.

Seriously - that's his excuse. "I am not an adulterer! I am a liar! (But I'm not lying now!)"

Hilarious. Good luck with the crappy-ass life you have left fatty Duvall...

Shouldaz, Where You At?

We've got a jackal that's gone MIA. We're gonna drop some jackals behind enemy lines and shit, see if we can't dial this ninja up. It's a big weekend. Maybe he's kicking it in a lair of sorts, plotting, judging, maybe he took Rusty up on his pepper offer and didn't live to tell the tale. Shoulders, will you howl at the Den? When you have the time. Eli is a bitch. In case you need some incentive.

GCOTD: Drew Stevyns (a.k.a. Andrew Petrowski)

Nuggets, Boogers, Droppa Duece and a few others went to middle school , back in the Clarksville days, with this douche. He played a song just like this at Nuggets's 8th grade B-day party. It got all the girls panties in a bunch. A move which quickly cost him dearly in gaining any friends because there was really only 1 chick worth looking at out of the 8 (yes only 8) girls in our class.

DOUCHE!!

For those of you that don't know what the hell I am talking about, you probably won't care, but I thought it only fair to post here for comments.

You really should watch this one, not only did I tear up from lameness of "Drew Stevyns" (sounds like a porn name), but it is quite funny to watch Don't Hassle the Hoff talk not drunk, with a shirt on, and without a burger hanging from his mouth (a.k.a. getting awesome) knowing that millions have seen him in that state.

JOTD:

I don't know how much more awesome you can get, this guy started drinking at nine in the morning, pretended to drown repeatedly, verbally UNF'd and then threw jellyfish at people. Take notes, boys. Jackaldom is alive and well in the Sunshine State. Who's got $250? Let's go bail this guy out and get wasted!

Boogerdamus: Steelers Miss the Playoffs

I was extremely shocked when ESPN opened wide and unanimously crowned the Pittsburgh Steelers 2010 Super Bowl Champions without playing a snap. They're in for a shit storm I tell you. My birds lost fair and square three times, I'm not on here to take away from last year. I'm just going on the record, right now. Steelers miss the playoffs. Book it. Kerry Collins is scared like a mother fucker when it comes to the Baltimore Ravens, but I am guaranteeing, yes, jackal on record, guaranteeing a Tennessee victory in Shittsburgh tomorrow. Book it, Danno. Call your bookie. Open the book and read them pages. 10-6, I got a little carried away with the whole 9-7 thing, but no playoffs. Boogerdamus has spoken.

WTF?????

All I heard through the Address to Congress was the following:

"FIRST!....blah...blah...blah...town hall....SECOND!...Ted Kennedy...blah...blah...blah...$900 Billion...blah...blah...blah...won't cost taxpayers any money...blah...blah...blah...social justice...blah...blah...blah...I STILL BALLEEVVE WE CAN DO GREAT THINGS!...THAT IS OUR CHARACTER!"

What the fuck are you serious??  How the fuck are you going to pay for it?  Just print some more Benjamin's?  Cash for Clunkers wasn't supposed to cost the taxpayers money either. 

Uncle Sam is a delusional old man

Oops, never saw that coming.

And what is with the MLK impersonation?  "I STILL BALLEEVVEE"  and shit.  What the fuck is that?  I love you Obama, but this shit is getting out of hand.  I don't think we are going to get this fixed anytime soon based on the reaction of the 'Publican 'Mericans.  "I'm not clapping for you..na na na...nana....naaaa"  

Pick a battle.  The War, Healthcare, the environment, the economy, foreign affairs.  Fix one, THEN move onto the next thing.  Dude is trying to do everything at once.  That is what chicks do.  We are not chicks Obama.  We are jackals...THAT IS OUR CHARACTER!

PS  Psst!  President Obama, we are still in a recession.