KFTC: Michael Vick

Well well well, Mr. Vick. Good to know you're still dumb as fuck. I was calling for my Dirty Birds to scoop you up last year and I guarantee if you were a Raven, you wouldn't be under investigation. AGAIN. You dumb fuckin' prick. Goodell says it appears to have nothing to do with you, but the fact that your name is coming up in the same sentence as 'gun' is not a good thing. We have a saying here in the Den, although ScarShoulders version of it is really fucking gay, but it's called 'Keep Fuckin' That Chicken'. Notice it's 'fuckin' that chicken', not 'put this chicken into a ring with that chicken and see which one dies'.

Oh yeah, way to make the five worst backup QBs in the league list.

KFTC: Maradona's barber

"Now you see, when the goalie reaches up to make the save, punch that shit with your fist. No one will know. If they start asking you questions and shit about rules, tell them it was God's hand."

Friday Hottie: Emmanuelle Chriqui

I'm about as hungover as a bitch.

Happy Friday, gentlemen. Here's one reason to look forward to Montreal, that's where this piece of "hey now" was born.

Now, go get yourself awesome tonight, ya hear?

GCOTD: VUVUZELA master

You VUVUZELA master, you don't drink, you don't smoke, you VUVUzela the SHIT out of your plastic pipe all night long...

All night long...all night...all night....ALLL NNIIIGHHHT LONG....all night long

You vuvuzela on defense and on offense, when you score and when you miss, when you eat and when you piss...

oh you vuvuzuela master EAT some pussy or SUCK some DICK, whatever you do JUST STOP BLOWING AIR THROUGH YOUR PLASTIC AIR PIPE

STUPID MOTHERFUCKER



p.s. Yes those are bacon bras...yes indeed

KFTC: Starbuck's-Drinking Intern

Internships are basically really long job applications, right? Aren't y'all full-time, broke ass students and shit? Why is my intern rolling in daily with a Starbuck's coffee? Is Starbuck's the most socially acceptable addiction for people that can't possibly afford it? KFTC, Starbuck's-Driniking Intern. You're not nearly as hot as Kyle's intern, otherwise I wouldn't be so judgmental.

JOTD: Landon Donovan

GO TO SLEEP!: France

There are cocks all over French soccer emblems. Coincidence?

I heard the coach they all quit on this week and refused to practice for uses astrology to pick his line ups. Time for these clone ass bitches to go to fucking asleep. South Africa, do your thang.

JOTD: Crazy Ass Ron Artest

You all know I don't fuck around with West Coast teams. Especially the Lakers. Fuck those Bammas. I was rooting for the Celtics the whole series. I was PISSED when Artest hit the series clinching three. That said... This crazy mother fucker is a breath of fresh fucking air. Is he batshit crazy? Hell yes. Is he a player who does as much bad as good at times? Yup. But last night he won a championship. He won Kobe his 5th ring. And he was damn honest about how crazy he was and thanked his psychiatrist over and over again for chilling him the fuck out. That's an important thing for people and athletes to hear. That it's ok to be fucked in the head and get help. Watch the whole clip above. It's well worth it. The real gem comes about 8 minutes 30 seconds in when he talks about the big three he hit at the end of the game. Reminds a Jackal of the time when his own father drew up a play in a playoff game for Head and I had to wave that shit off and just jack a game winning three as they both yelled "nooooo". Much love for this crazy fucker Ron Artest for bringing back memories of Jackals pasts.

WTF?: What's in the box?

Whoa, final scene of 'Seven' times 40 or 60?

GCOTD: France

Dare you go, France! Do you have any idera how fruckin' busy I ram? Handballin' ass bitches. Fluff your pillow. Skkkrrriiiimp!